Standing up for yourself in business can be tough, especially if you’re someone who tends to avoid confrontation or naturally leans toward being a "people-pleaser." You might feel like speaking up or pushing back is out of your character, and frankly, it can feel really uncomfortable. But here's the thing: standing up for yourself is essential, not just for your success but for your well-being.
Why It’s So Hard to Speak Up
First, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: it’s hard. If you're someone who tends to stay quiet or who often goes along with what others want, asserting yourself can feel unnatural. You might worry about being seen as difficult, damaging relationships, or even losing opportunities. These fears are real and valid.
For many of us, the idea of confrontation feels like stepping into a storm. We fear the potential fallout, the awkwardness, or even the idea of hurting someone's feelings. And if you’re used to putting others' needs before your own, standing up for yourself can feel almost selfish—though, remember: it’s not.
Why It Matters
When you don’t stick up for yourself, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of being overlooked, undervalued, or even taken advantage of. Over time, this can lead to burnout, resentment, and a significant drop in your self-confidence. More than that, if you constantly let others slide when they don’t hold up their end of a deal, you might find that your own goals and needs start to take a back seat.
In business, your reputation is built on how you manage your relationships and commitments. If you let things slide too often, people might start to assume they can get away with it—even worse, you may begin to feel less good about yourself for neglecting to have your own back.
Actionable Tips to Start Advocating for Yourself
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Acknowledge Your Feelings: Start by recognizing how you feel. Are you upset? Frustrated? Disappointed? Understanding your emotions can help you approach the situation more clearly. It's okay to feel whatever you're feeling—those emotions are signals that something needs to change.
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Set Clear Boundaries: Before you even enter a business agreement, make sure all parties are clear on expectations. If something feels off or vague, address it early on. When you establish boundaries upfront, it’s easier to enforce them later.
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Practice Assertive Communication: Assertiveness doesn’t mean being aggressive. It’s about expressing your needs and expectations clearly and respectfully. You can say things like, “I understand that things come up, but it’s important that we stick to our agreement because it impacts X.”
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Give Yourself Permission: You have every right to stand up for yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable. Give yourself permission to be firm. Remember, you’re not just advocating for yourself—you’re also protecting the integrity of the business relationship.
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Rehearse: If you’re nervous about how to approach a conversation, practice beforehand. Write down what you want to say, and even practice it out loud. The more you prepare, the more confident you’ll feel.
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Follow Up in Writing: After a conversation, send a follow-up email summarizing what was discussed. This not only provides clarity but also serves as a record in case you need to revisit the discussion later.
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Know When to Walk Away: Sometimes, despite your best efforts, people still won’t hold up their end of the deal. In these cases, it’s important to know when to walk away. Not every relationship is worth maintaining, especially if it consistently drains your energy or compromises your values.
The Emotional Side of Advocacy
It’s important to recognize that standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to abandon who you are. It’s about finding a balance between being true to your nature and ensuring you’re treated fairly. You might never be the loudest voice in the room, and that’s okay. Your strength comes from your integrity, your kindness, and your ability to communicate effectively.
Standing up for yourself is a journey, not a destination. Each time you advocate for yourself, it gets a little easier. And with each step, you’ll find that you not only gain the respect of others but also build a deeper respect for yourself.
So, the next time someone doesn’t hold up their end of a deal, remember: you’ve got this. It might feel uncomfortable, but you’re worth the effort. Your voice matters, and it deserves to be heard.
